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When we were done I put some lamb and potatoes and vegetables in a disposable aluminum pie plate. I added a plastic knife and fork.
Fortunately, Con was the consummate undertaker, his demeanor always controlled, his smile sympathetic, his voice as smooth as vanilla custard.
There was never any ugly mention of the unfortunate incident. After all, I was a potential customer.
And with my line of work it might be sooner rather than later. Not to mention Grandma Mazur. I would have liked a piece of pie, too, but I thought about the little black dress and had a banana instead.
I was still hungry after the banana, so I made myself half a ham sandwich. After the sandwich I picked at the lamb. And finally I gave in and ate the pie.
Lula looked up from the filing when I walked in. We heard how you beat the crap out of that Briggs guy. Not that he didn't deserve it, but I think if you was gonna beat the crap out of someone, you could let me in on it.
You know how bad I wanted to beat the crap out of that little wiener. You hit them in the body where it doesn't show.
Kick them in the nuts. Sucker-punch them in the kidney. Stick with that story. I like it. She keeps looking over here. I think she might be getting ready to do the eye thing again.
There's lots of people in that seniors' club, and I don't go to the meetings all the time. I can only take so much of old people.
If I want to see loose skin I can look in the mirror. Briggs was already at work at his computer when I came out of my bedroom.
Mary Sunshine," he said. How'd you get it so clean? I never have any luck getting blood off walls like that.
People are harder to replace. Are you okay? I'll be right back. I'm going to walk Mary Lou to her car. You're not getting out of my sight until you're safely locked in your car.
He was wearing Winnie-the-Pooh pajamas. When I want to really impress the ladies I wear Spider-Man. I get a lot of perks because people think I'm cute.
And I try to take advantage of my minority status. I grabbed my keys and took off for the stairs. You got a big spread. And not that I'm bummed or anything, but I didn't even get a mention.
And I didn't get a cool name like Bombshell Bounty Hunter either. Hell, I could bombshell your ass off. No, no, no, no, no roach squashing.
No unnecessary force. But we could use necessary force, right? And then a garbage truck fell on it. And you have kids. Kids are the best. I didn't want her to feel bad.
I mean we can't all be lucky enough to have a hamster. Call the police. Morelli wouldn't waste any time getting me out of this dress.
We'd be lucky if we got to the wedding at all. Is that what I wanted? I didn't know what I wanted. I ran back to the bedroom, kicked off the heels, and shimmied out of the black dress.
I tried on a tan suit, a red knit dress, an apricot cocktail dress, and a gray silk suit. I ransacked my closet some more and came up with a tea-length rayon dress.
It was a soft teal color with a small pink rose print and a skirt that was soft and swirly. It wasn't hot like the little black dress, but it was sexy in an understated romantic way.
I changed my pantyhose, junked the earrings, dropped the dress over my head, shoved my feet into low-heeled shoes, and dumped the contents of the black purse into a small tan bag.
I had just buttoned the last button on the dress when the doorbell rang. I grabbed a sweater and hustled to get the door. I threw the door open and didn't see anyone.
And thanks to you I don't have anyplace to live. Stole everything and set fire to my couch. Now I don't have anyplace to live while they fix my apartment.
And when your cousin wrote my bail he said I had to have an address. So here I am. Isn't that a kick in the ass?
You want to help me with this stuff I've got? And believe me, I'll be out of here as soon as possible. And that one bedroom is mine.
You need to relax a little. You aren't even visiting here. Call your ratfaced cousin and ask. You want to violate my bond agreement?
You want to come after me again? They have to put down a new rug and put in a new door. And in the meantime I have a job to do. Which, by the way, thanks to you again, I'm behind schedule.
I'm going out, and there's no way I'm leaving you alone in my apartment. He put his head down and pushed past me.
I'm not interested in hocking your silverware. I just want a place to work. Which, for your information, I took a lot of grief over.
You destroyed that door. He's just a little guy. And besides, he threatened me with a civil liberties suit. And if he goes through with it, you're not gonna come out looking like roses.
You beat the shit out of him. Briggs was on the couch, booting up his computer. He was sort of cute with his little legs sticking out.
Kind of like a big, cranky doll with a bashed-in face. He had a Band-Aid across his broken nose, and a beauty of a black eye.
I didn't think he could win a lawsuit, but I didn't want to put it to the test. And just between you and me, that dress is a dud.
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